Christina Reviews *Clerks*

          Customer:  Cute cat.  What’s it’s name?
          Randal Graves:  Annoying customer.


         Clerks is about a day in the life of a convenience store clerk. 

         Dante Hicks is called in to work on his day off and he’s quite bitter about that.  His friend Randal Graves works at the video store next door.  Randal never seems to let anything bother him.  He just doesn’t give a damn about his job.  He spends most of his shift over at the convenience store, meaning that the video store is “ostensibly closed.”

         The two friends spend the day having conversations that range from the philosophical (such as whether or not the roofers who participated in the construction of the Death Star were innocent victims who had no "personal politics" and were therefore caught up in a "war they had nothing to do with"), to the personal (such as ruminations on Dante’s love life and his ex-girlfriend's talent for driving men to homosexuality), to the downright disgusting (“You’ve never been in a nudie booth?”) 

       Occasionally, they wait on customers.  But mostly they just blow them off.

       There are some memorable scenes in here.  There’s the customer who almost starts a riot in the store when he compares those who sell cigarettes to Nazis.  As it turns out, he’s a Chewlies gum rep who's trying to sell more gum.  There’s the scene where a customer tries to pull a fast one on Randal and he responds with the classic line, “I don’t appreciate your ruse, Ma’am.  … Your cunning attempt to trick me.”  Then there’s the scene where Dante closes down the shop so he can play hockey on the roof with Randal and his friends.  His friends try to get free Gatorade out of him.  At first, he pretends to have principles.  But when they tell him that, if he’s going to be “insubordinate [he] might as well go the full nine” and not “pussy out when it comes to free shit…”, he inevitably caves.

       And of course there’s more.  Much, much more.  I guess you’ll have to watch the movie yourself to find out just how much more I’m talking about.

       Just keep in mind that the movie is really crude.  So don't watch it with your kids. 

      Or with your parents.

      Or with you brother.

      Or with your sister.

      Or with your boss.

      Or with your cat.

      Or with your hermaphroditic girlfriend.

      Basically, don't watch it with anyone.